The Lowest Common Denominator

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April 22nd, 2016

Asbestos!

Unlike the majority of you, I live a life of danger! I'm not subject to threats of immediate violence like police officers, or liable to be burned alive in a horrible, not up to code building that's on fire like a fireman, but nonetheless, danger surrounds me! But the dangers I face, they're not exactly visible, or even perceivable, but they exist nonetheless!

And this is even before you consider the dangers posed by my coworkers. Their staggering boobery and disregard for the safety of others aside, I do worry about a few of them actually going postal, driving through the doors with their pickup, and filling the majority of the humans present full of lead from a truck-mounted Browning .50 cal. machine gun.

No, as you can see from the photo to your right, the very building I work in itself is hostile to human life. Oh sure, they say they've removed all the 'dangerous' asbestos from the building, but every year or so they find a new area that was not, in fact, cleared of the stuff, and they have to seal it off or paper over it or put up stickers saying to stay clear or whatever. So, yeah.

Then there's all the solder fumes and flux fumes and the radiation exposure and the other chemicals that I can't even identify but have made the flesh on my fingers glow under ultraviolet light in several different beautiful yet frightening colors. So I figure I should be developing super powers any day now. To go along with my power to either shut babies up or make them cry uncontrollably.

I'm still working on controlling that power a bit more, of course. Once I get a handle on that, it is on.

firebomb@banality.com

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