The Lowest Common Denominator

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January 5th, 2016

This sign would've came in handy BEFORE I used the microwave. A bit.

It's amazing how often I get exposed to radiation while I'm at work.

I was minding my own business today during lunch, simply trying to heat up my delicious, homemade soup (no, I did not make it; I assure you, I am no chef), when the microwave informed me that it was done with said soup. It wasn't, really, for I usually heat it up halfway, stir, then repeat the cycle I just ran. So I opened the door to grab my soup and stir it, and suddenly the thing kicked back on again.

Insert panicky slamming shut of microwave door here.

Though I'm not blind, as of typing this text anyway, I did catch a full-frontal blast of the 'waves. Here's hoping that there's no ill effects from that. I'm pretty sure it's not like with hard radiation, where the stuff scrambles your genes and gives you superpowers cancer. And I did get some of that (radiation, not cancer I hope) a few months back, via the powerful ultraviolet curing machine they use in the back room.

Ultraviolet resistant, but not resistant to lasers. Though the same company makes those goggles, too.

This was courtesy of a coworker who leaves its safety door open, since the device sucks up the light, thin nameplates she has to coat with it into its ventilation ducts if she doesn't. And sure enough, she left the door open without telling anyone the room was bathed in deleterious, invisible light. I wouldn't have even known had I not turned the corner and got it square in the eyes, at full intensity. Still not blind from that, either.

And these people mock me for ordering my own, specialty ultraviolet-proof visor? Please.

It's a necessity that I have these things while working in this building. Sure, the space goggles that the company provides aren't bad, but they're a bit tricksy to wear when I'm just tooling around the halls. And these red guys? They actually help me a whole lot when I've got a headache (or even a migraine) going on, because the place is flooded with pain-inducing, poorly maintained fluorescent lighting. It's more than welcome relief, I assure you.

Even if everything is colored funny.

firebomb@banality.com

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